David Jay
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                                                      'Ode to Timothy' and 'Trixie's Love'

Sorry all, I can't sleep, Trixie told me a bit more about an old experience we both witnessed that I must tell before I can go to sleep. If
it is too heavy for some, so be it, it is about real love and the real world. Let me call it an ODE TO TIMOTHY and yet it also a
testimony of my wife's great love. And if anything this newsgroup is going to NOT be mundane but be about LOVE, real Christian
LOVE straight from the LORD. So rent your garments and rent your heart and your very soul and read, because I am almost in
tears for the pain that Timothy suffered and the love to which trixie went to show that the Lord loved HIM. It happenned in Bacolod in
the Philippines around twenty five years ago, but now Trixie has told me a bit more about the circumstances
which I had never known about before...and it must be said, for the sake of others, for the sake of those like Tim, for the sake of those
that might be in pain because they are deemed not sexy, not the right body type, not good enough to be loved.....

We joined a home where Tim and Anna were at, there being another couple there as well. We were there for a number of months ,
going out at night, witnessing, passing out literature and Anna would sometimes sing in the restaurants and pubs. We did what we
could to win people to the Lord.

But one night when I was out late at night with Anna, Tim and Trixie were back at the house waiting for our arrival. trixie heard
some crying in the other part of the house, and realized that Tim was crying within Tim ad Anna's room. He had been taking care of
Anna's daughter, while Anna was out. Trixie opened the door slowly and saw Tim curled up on the bed crying, she went to him and
hugged him, trying to comfort him. But he kept crying uncontrolably. She kissed his neck, and later his lips to try and stop him from
crying to show that someone loved him. He was so hurt inside, but he kissed her back. She got on the bed, in fronmt of him, continued
kissing him and hugging him and as she did noticed he had an erection. He still hadnt completely stopped crying so she bent down
and removed his shorts and started sucking him. He had a small penus, but within minutes he CAME,, and by then had stopped
crying. Thank the Lord.... They talked a littleand then she left.

But that wasn't the end of the testimony about Tim, because what you have to realize is that Tim and Anna were both from ireland,
and Anna had become a missionary like Tim and both came to the Phillippines as one of their first stops. They were a little green
behind the ears and yet had love for the Lord. But Anna had gotten pregannat with the child of a rather famous singer back in
ireland, and she kept showing off this lover of hers who had rejected her and rejected and not taken care of the daughter they
produced. But tim on the other hand was taking care of Anna and her daughter full time, especially when Anna was out
in the clubs singing. Anna loved to be on stage like her former lover, and kept talking not about the great love that Tim was doing in
taking care of them but about this good looking, probably big dicked singer. It was heart breaking, that Anna was with Tim, yet
showing off the pictures of her former boyfriend ....who was not even a CHRISTIAN.

So the next night, after Tim was crying in his room alone, he went out witnessing about the Lord, and came back drunk. And was in
the outside Kabooo or hut again, crying and singing and then crying, and Anna who was home at the time was furious with his
drunkedness and actions, blaming him to HELL for his behaviour. I came back about an hour later, if I remember right, and heard
Anna's side of the story that dam Tim was completely drunk and 'out of it' and in the back under the mango trees.

And Yes he was completely gone and completely drunk and almost incoherrant, as she balsted away at him and returned in a rage to
the house. But Trixie and I weren't in charge of the home and couldn't sober up Tim and couldn't calm the rage of Anna.I thought Tim
shouldn't have gotten so dam drunk.... Ha, that from me that many times came home half pickled because people we witnessed to
would give us drinks if we sat down and talked to them about the Lord.

However, I didn't know the whole story, the real pain that Tim was going through. For as trixie told me, Tim and Anna had never
made love ever, never !!!! She was letting Tim take care of her and her daughter full time all the time and yet never made love to him.
She thought his cock was too small, his talent too little , his actions not macho enough and so Tim was being used and literally
abused in his mind and degraded for his seemingly weak and unmasculine body, even though he gave his whole HEART, and SOUL,
and BODY to Anna and her daughter. He loved being a father and takling care of them and tried to overlook the fact that he was not
getting any literal love whatsoever.

But it came out that when Trixie showed him real love, it broke his heart further because he knew Anna didn;t have that kind of love
and was being extremely selfish. he got drunk, and he got blamed even further, to cause the pain and suffering and condemnation and
humilatiation to sink even deeper into his soul... So that maybe he will never recover, never think he will be good enough long
enough, man enough to ever satisfy a woman..no matter what he does.

Anmd yet who got reported Tim or Anna ? You quessed it Tim was condemned as a drunk and condemned as weak brother.. Tim, the
brother with great love and who was sacrifing greatly for both Anna and her child was labelled by those that knew as immature and
unstable. Horrible but true, but it happenned many times where sisters used brothers for their own ends and yet degraded them
because of their physical and spiritual limitations.

ODE TO TIMOTHY, he had great love and yet suffered great pain because of that love. What's on the otuside is just not as important
as what is on the inside brethren. So please learn a lesson from what Tim experienced and then maybe his pain might have been
worth it, if we can prevent it happenned because of our actions. Us brothers can be hurt, you sisters can be hurt because of our
supposed physical or spiritual inadequacies, so watch out little hands and brains and cocks and pussies who you may offend, because
if we offend one of these little ones, it were better that a millstone be hing aroung your neck, even your peter's neck, and you were
drown in the sea ?

Watch out how you use youer sexual liberation ? Will you be a lion or a lamb if set free into the Lord'spastures ? Will you heal or
hurt. Rip apart or bring back together ? Will you show real love, or will you be only after your own satisfaction, your own pride !!

If you were Anna, would you have loved Tim, or would you have used him ?

I can go to sleep now, Thanks Trixie for such honesty and thanks so much for trying to help Tim, may we all show that kind of the
Lord's LOVE when our opportunity comes around, whatever it takes !!!!

In His LOVE David  (in love with the Lord FIRST and then Trixie)

Do you still want to a member HERE or will these kinds of testimonies be too much for you ....